Yipee its monday

Yup im happy its monday.... why? Coz im seeing my bastard tomorrow... and i cant bloody wait. I have seriously been thinking about this man non-stop. I have spoken to two people about him of late and they are both convinced im in love, im not of course... how can you fall in love with someone who doesnt love you and is completely unavailable... its not love... its raw lust and desire and as far as im concerned thats so much better than love. And the best bit of all i have now been seeing this man for 7 months, despite having a big gap when i tried to cleanse myself of him... and i still feel as strongly about him as i did when i initially started seeing him.. he sets all my senses alight... though i am scared about tomorrow, i havent seen him for 3 months and i havebnt really done anything in that time... he is a hard player... im gonna get battered :o(

Weekend was good... went to club rub, a fet wear club and boogied the night away... and other stuff, was a good night.

I have the use of a boy... djin... and he is completely dedicated to me in every sense of the word. Where im concerned he will do anything and i mean anything what so ever. Its nice to have this level of control over someone... and its really warming to have that level of devotion from someone... i want to be able to achieve a similar level of devotion to a person, to love them unconditionally... djin knows i will never be anything more to him other than his Mistress... he doesnt mind this, in fact i think it adds to it for him, it makes me unattainable and it gives him a buzz... this is what service is about and so few understand it.. quite sad really.