Cor blimey i feel stuffed....

This morning i did the corset up as tight as i could, and no bloatedness sticking out so it was all going well. I was expecting a big bloated belly as i had spent most the night munching snacks.... see my whole waist training after the new year thing is really going to pot. Anyway do you realise how nice nutella spread is on a muti seed batch is? Well take it from me it's really rather moorish.... so anyway no bloat, thankfully. Chocolate does make me bloat terribly i think im allergic, and why is it exactlly that we crave sweet things at this time? Normally i dont have a sweet tooth... but pre menstrually i always do, and food.. just give me food i want and need to eat anything and everything.... boredom i expect... i dunno.

Anyway's i purchased a really spicey curry for lunch, a ceylon (Sri Lanka) one, hottest curries yer can get and my god was it hot... so ive had to undo the corset, and then i squeezed in a mince pie and now i feel sick... :o( i seriously have no self control at this very moment in time... i disapoint myself terribly!!

Ive been getting approached recently by a couple of dominant men who are into ball busting, what is all that about? Anyway im not intrested in that kinda thing with a dominant man... despite the fact that on many occasion i wish i could boot one in the balls its not something that i would consider for pleasure... it's wrong... and im not doing it so feck off and find someone else to do it to you... why they come to me anyway? Just because i have a little hint of sadism about me... they have to put that into context of the whole person that i am... i dont play with any old tom, dick or harry... why do they assume that i do and would want to do it with them... anyway im standing firm, im not intrested. Ive changed my profiles to not looking, well not not looking but that im not really intrested...... i need a time out to focus on the task i have set myself and i dont really need any distractions, well not those sort of distractions at any rate.

I wish i had an analytical brain.... some people simply amaze me how thier brains work... so methodical, and im so not.... why are people so different? I see they are trying to establish a link between autism/aspergers and mathematical genius.... and also the gender link. I find it slightly curious that a couple of the women i work with who are very analytical in their approach are a bit geezerish... yanno butch.... Acccording to the alleged reasearch austism/aspergers can be identified by the high level of tesoterone in the amniotic sac... do yer recon the just make these things up as they go along? Though it is true men are more likely to suffer autism/aspergers.. and they are also more inclined to be mathematical minded...

So where do i fit into all this? I wanna know why my brain doesnt quite work like other peoples. Why have problems with words, and maths aim even worse but we wont go there... im good with money though.... ;o) Lact of concentrqtion, cant focus unless it really intrests me... and never finish things and procrastination.... im at high risk of ADD, attention deficite disorder.... i dunno though.. maybe.... i wonder if we all have a little something wrong with us, but then who is to say its wrong>?>

I did just try to spell check this and apparently there are no mistakes... which is impossible so if there are loads of spelling mistakes it aint my bloody fault!!!? grrrrrr i can see loads of spelling mistakes and it isnt picking them up...