End of the week.... woo hoooo

Im not sure why i have been so tired of late. Initially it was after the session with the uber... i was left so exhausted i thought it was that but maybe its something more. The other day i experienced a nose bleed while washing the dishes, im not sure if its the beginning of a cold, high blood pressure, or simply the bodies shock response to me washing the pots. Anyway i feel a bit like im getting a cold but its nor really developing so who knows. I have an appointment with my GP next Thursday to get my bloody pressure tested again, i wont wear the corset before i go just to give my body the best chance.

Last Sunday i got an email from a 'friend' actually shes my best friend accusing me of walking away from confrontation. It actually offended me somewhat as im fiercely loyal to my friends, so for someone to say that is rather like a good slap around the face. Anyway ive decided not to respond to the email and i have decided that if that is how she feels she can fuck right off. I dont usually get offended much and just tend to brush things off, but that was too close to the mark. Its just that when shes feeling shite i shouldnt be enjoying myself, well thats not going to happen so im going to put me first from now on. And although i have been accused of doing so all the time i think a certain person is going to realise just how much i was there for her. On the flip side however, i do wonder if some of that email was her way of getting attention from me... accusing me of stuff to get me to respond. It is true to say that we havent been spending so much time together of late, well shes formed a new friendship with someone else which is positive, someone not quite as outgoing as i, and i have been giving her space to do that. Oh well best not to think about these things i guess, shes a big girl and she needs to learn that slagging people off isnt a way to make or keep friends!!

Conkord rang me last night, he didnt sound his usual self. He initially messaged my on the site we met on, he asked me why i was never on line and he had been trying to find me. I told him the truth in as much as i have deleted him off my msn. Sometimes i can get a bit neurotic if someone is on line and i want to talk to them and they're busy. They should be talking to me afterall..... initially i deleted so he could continue to talk to me when he required. But for some reason, the last time i had a pop at him i guess, i deleted and blocked. He had been trying to ring me but i have been having early nights since the uber so havent picked the calls up, his number is witheld so how am i supposed to know its him? He should have text me... so anyway despite the fact he's been thinking ive been ignoring him completely we are going to meet, well apparently lets see if it happens. Seriously this guy has got the fittest body on the planet.... and he has this lovely air of arrogance about him.... yum yum.... i know not the right reasons for bottoming to a guy but yanno if yer gonna do it at least do it to someone cute.. ;o)

Bottoming, thats what im doing isnt it.. im bottoming to two and not submitting to anyone.... how bloody depressing.... depressing but fun.... one day..... one day it will come. I think maybe i need to work on my attitude i appear to have lost the path of late.... sometimes i dont like being as fiesty as i am... i swear too much, im cheeky.... but on the positive side i do offer complete devotion and dedication which does go way beyond what many others do.... i have the heart of a submissive even if my mouth does let me down on occasion..